I haz an orchard

Or, rather, I will in a couple of years (hopefully). I went down to one of the local nurseries this weekend and bought myself a bunch of fruit trees. On top of the standard apples, pears, peaches, and plums, I was happy to discover some persimmon saplings as well, and bought one. All the trees are still quite small (about two years old), so I'm not sure if my plan will bear fruit while I'm still down here. I think I am going to have to come back down here in 10 - 20 years and see how they've grown up.

I was also thrilled that the nursery will deliver dirt (or in my case, compost) in smaller loads than dump-truck size, so I finally have some dirt for my herb garden as well. Wheee! Hopefully they'll last a little longer than the ones that I potted last year.

Hooray For New Math

It never fails. Every year I try to do my taxes by hand, get frustrated, and go an electronic route. This in and of itself does not bother me. Electronic filing, despite being more expensive is much quicker and simpler.

What amuses me is the discrepancies between what I calculate and what the software calculates. This year, I went from owing the government to them owing me. The total swing was in the neighborhood of $10,000.

I reallllllly hope the software is accurate.

No, I Didn't Go to Oz

Thanks for everybody who was concerned that I might have had problems with the recent tornadoes. Fortunately for me they all hit about an hour west of me, so I'm fine. It did prompt me to finally double check my house insurance policy to ensure that tornado damage is covered.

How To Make My Monday*

Inform me that our district administrator raises chickens and I can buy eggs from her.

Squee!
____________________________________________________________
*Alternate title: How to tell I'm a cooking geek.

Apparantly, It's Not All Bad

So I understand that the weather in Canada has been a little nippy as of late.

Yesterday the weather got up to 71 degrees down here. It was like a nice little Chinook.

Currently, my most pressing concern is how to set a suet feeder so that the raccoons don't eat it all overnight (or, if the feeder isn't bolted down, they just steal it).

I'm Sure That It's Perfectly Normal

So a list of items that Amazon recommends for me includes exclusively a variety of horror movies and cooking equipment.

In a completely unrelated event, I've found myself wondering lately whether the travel channel would hire me as a replacement if I killed Anthony Bourdain.

Probably not. I'm not nearly as good at that whole writing thing as he is.

That Was Fast

One season. I was hoping for a little bit more. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why he did it and wish him all the best, but it would have been nice for him to stay around at least a few seasons more. On the plus side, it takes less than 30 minutes longer to drive to see an Ole Miss game than to drive to see a Razorbacks game.

Now, for those of you that don't care about football, how about some geekery? Like, say, a rubber band gun that shoots 288 rubber bands in 7.2 seconds? I wish I had one of those when I was still in the office in Calgary.



Alternately, I wonder if the company would let me mod my truck like this (pic via Tesla Downunder):

Happy Birthday Mom!

Have a great birthday!

Things That I Learned in 2007

1.) Despite my bitching, moving to Arkansas is one of the best things that I could have done for my career.
2.) It also happens to be one of the worst things that I could have done for my social life.
3.) You can live in a dry county and still get drunk very easily on good alcohol.
4.) Sometimes making your parents cry and call you a dumbass is a good thing. Sometimes.
5.) Arkansas is a culinary wasteland.

Success!

Finally got out of Little Rock. No problems in Dallas with the exception of the airport not having free wi-fi (Fie! Fie!) Malcolm was awesome for picking me up at the airport.

Now I have to go Christmas shopping.

Kovbasa Watch 2007

And the year ends as it begins - with me sitting in an airport with a delayed flight.

Fog has delayed my flight by just long enough that I won't make my connection in Dallas unless they're delayed as well. The next flight from Dallas to Calgary doesn't leave for another 7 hours.

I hope that there's a good bar in the airport.

UPDATE #1

Flight delay has gone from 35 minutes to 55 minutes. Joy.

UPDATE #2

Flight was originally scheduled to leave at 8:55 a.m. and is now scheduled for 10:20 a.m. I've re-booked my connection. I now leave Dallas at 6:10 p.m.

Diamond Back Brewing Company makes a pretty good IPA.

UPDATE #3

Now scheduled to leave at 11:15 a.m.

I know that I shouldn't be installing certain software on this work laptop, but I'm thinking that it might have been worthwhile installing Civ IV on it for this trip.

UPDATE #4

11:35 a.m. now.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll make that 6:10 flight...

UPDATE #5

11:55 a.m. now.

The fog's cleared a little bit. A flight for Chicago is just taking off now. I imagine that it's too much to hope that my flight gets moved up, not that it matters any more.

UPDATE #6

12:20 p.m. now.

The guy running the bar is, unsurprisingly, in a good mood. I'm kinda regretting that I didn't bring my dongle with me. I could have gotten a decent amount of work done this morning while I waited for my flight.

UPDATE #7

12:40 p.m.

Will somebody please explain to me why the 10:00 flight to Dallas gets to leave at 11:30, but my 8:55 flight keeps getting pushed back?

UPDATE #8

12:50 p.m.

The extra 10 minutes doesn't bother me. What does irk me is that the 12:15 flight to Dallas is scheduled to leave before mine.

I Just Drove Through a Disney Movie.

Driving out to location this morning, I saw a young deer standing in the ditch. I slowed down as it bounded across the road (no mujahadeer this time!) and noticed that, standing next to it was a small rabbit.

"Hmm." I mused. "Bambi and Thumper."

As I looked back at the deer, I noticed that it had a new companion on the other side of the road.

A skunk.

I kid you not.

This Isn't Right

It's raining. In December.

I'm from Calgary and used to bizarre weather, but this is freaking me out.

Wildlife

The birds are loving my back yard. It's filled with gold finches, house finches, juncos, chickadees, tons of cardinals, and the odd titmouse. It's getting expensive feeding all the greedy buggers. They can empty my feeder in about a day now. I'm wondering if it's because word's getting around in the avian world or if it's just because it's now "cold" down here. In any event it's a small price to pay for the cathartic effect of watching all the birds flitting about. I still haven't had any woodpeckers show up for my suet feeder yet, though. This surprises me since my neighbor has stated that she can't get a suet block to last overnight.

I also have armadillos. I haven't actually seen them, i've just seen the mess that they're make of my lawn while digging around for grubs overnight. I'm using deer repellent in the hopes that it drives them away - anything made with "putrescent egg white solids" (I kid you not) would drive me away. If that doesn't work, I've also had moth balls suggested to me. I really don't want to have to resort to traps (live or lethal) or shooting them.

Now, I go home and drink. Heavily. Between work and other stuff, this week can not end soon enough. Thank god I've got some chicken carcasses ready for making stock this weekend.

Oh, yeah. I also want to have Jade Raymond's children.

Figures.

I sometimes think that, if you want proof of God, then screw the banana argument. You need to look no further than the hack story that seems to be my life as of late.

Let's take the Grey Cup for example. I've already posted about my regular season woes, so I won't repeat that little bit of whining. I'll just pick up where I left off.

I actually was able to see both the western semi-final and western final. To celebrate the fact that it's been 18 years since the Riders won the cup and 10 years since they even made an appearance, I decided to splurge and bought the biggest HDTV I could fit into my entertainment center. Then I got my satellite provider to come over on friday and swap out my box so I could watch the game in HD brilliance. Great plan huh? It was all coming together.

I should have listened to Cenobyte and just flown up to watch the game with her.

The morning of "the big game" I find that I can't get the channel that is broadcasting the game in HD. In fact, I can't get a lot of the channels. It seems that my box can't pick of the signal from one of the satellites. Unfortunately, tech support told me that the soonest that they could get someone out there to fix it was the 26th. Ugh.

After about an hour of moping around and heavy drinking, I do another search of the channels, and find a Denver station that is broadcasting the game. Success! It's not HD, but it will do.

To make a long story short, I lost another satellite (and the feed associated with that station) with a couple minutes to go in the first half.

And to add insult to injury, I got that station back this morning.

Well, at least the Riders won.

Let Me Get This Straight

The Riders played 18 games this season.

I missed the first 10 because I didn't have satellite hooked up at my house. They were 8-2 at this point.

I get satellite, and manage to watch the next three games. They lose all three.

I miss the following game because I'm working out in the boonies for the weekend. The Riders win.

I manage to catch the next game. With 10 minutes left to go, Comcast stops broadcasting the game. The Riders win.

The next two games are not televised. The Riders win both.

The last game of the season is shown. I watch it. The Riders lose.

The Riders have had their best season since 1978.

They will be hosting their first playoff game since 1988.

And I was unable to watch them win once.

Nope. I'm not bitter. Not at all. Not even the tiniest bit.

Not to worry, though, fellow Rider fans. Comcast has decided to broadcast only the Eastern semi-final, so I can watch the Western one. Ergo, the Riders will win.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Success!

Most of you know that I like cooking. A lot. And the pride and joy of my cookbook collection has been my nearly complete set of Culinaria cookbooks by Konemann. I'm very happy to say that I finally managed to complete my collection over the weekend with Culinaria the Caribbean. For those not in the know, and whom actually care about this sort of stuff, the Culinaria series is only part cookbook, but also includes a lot of information about how food fits into various cultures.

In a possibly related story, I've been having reoccurring dreams over the last few nights where I'm a contestant on The Next Iron Chef, and I'm never managing to get my food done in time. It's a nice little change from those dreams where you're back in high school writing final exams for courses you never studied.

Why yes, I am a geek. Thank you for noticing.

I spent the weekend at an oilfield golf tournament. Who am I to turn down free booze, food, and golf? It does surprise me, though, that people will buy a house on the fairway of a course, not put up any sort of netting, trees, or other protection from stray balls, and then be upset when their house gets hit buy some amateur with a wicked slice.

I've also discovered that golf is a lot more entertaining when you can commit property damage. I don't feel nearly as guilty as when I hit wildlife.

Go Hogs!

Okay, so it's not exactly a Razorback, but just take a look at what was nosing around in my front yard when I went home for lunch today:



I really like all the wildlife (even if some of it isn't particularly wild) that's around my place. Personally, I think that this guy has a lot more potential for a good meal than a couple of guinea hens, but that's just me.

Green Wizard Needs Sleep Badly.

Oy. It's been a heckuva a couple of weeks. I'm currently sitting in the middle of nowhere where I've been spending most of the last two days, plus the weekend and last Friday. We do, fortunately, have satellite internet up here so I can remain somewhat entertained and busy up here between jobs. The problem lies with back to back to back 18 hour days. I'd forgotten how much they can wear a person out. If all goes well, today will be the last long day for a couple of weeks. I plan on doing a lot of sleeping tomorrow. Maybe I'll get the energy up to do some yardwork on Sunday.

Oh my exciting life. Stop the insanity. I can't keep up with the excitement.

As I mentioned, about a month back I finally broke down and got satellite television (no internet yet. I can't justify the cost for the service when I can use the connection at work five minutes away for my email and billing) so that I could watch the Riders play. They've been having a great season. Since I got my satellite, I have watched the Riders lose three times in a row. Last weekend I was too busy to actually watch the game (see above) and lo and behold - they won. This being Thanksgiving weekend in the Great White North, they are playing in the afternoon on Monday and are heavily favored to win. Of course, I'll be working down here and unable to watch the game. I've never considered myself superstitious, but I think I'm an albatross.

In any event, I actually found capon down here - which I don't recall ever seeing in Calgary - and I'm going to try roasting it up on the weekend. I wonder if it'll taste like chicken?

*ducks*
*runs*