Monday, September 24, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Fuck GM
A fun side-effect of this is the fact that, whenever stopping, the car will release its brakes just before coming to a complete stop and roll ahead about another 10 feet before finally stopping.
I have taken the car to GM to repair this. Several times. To two separate garages. Neither garage claimed to be able to find anything wrong. The problem would disappear for about a month after coming back from the shop before rearing its ugly head again.
When I moved I decided to give the car to my parents. What they can get from selling it, they can keep. My dad, not believing in Caveat Emptor nearly as strongly as I do (or perhaps wanting to maximize the selling price of my p.o.s.), took it to a third mechanic - an independent - to get it looked at.
A 10 minute diagnosis found the problem. The bill? $1800. According to the mechanic the problem should have been obvious to anybody with a modicum of training.
To say that this disgusts me is to say that the holocaust wasn't that good an idea. I suppose that it shouldn't surprise me. As long as the car was under warranty, they weren't going to find anything wrong with it if at all possible. From what I understand, originally the problem would have been a relatively cheap fix. Now the entire brake system is going to need to be replaced. I can accept that most companies don't believe in customer service. I'd just like to see them start believing in "don't fuck over your customers". Is that too much to ask? I've still got all the receipts for the car repairs I've asked for over the years, and I know what GM will say when we confront them with it. "Oh, we're sorry you're not completely satisfied. How about $500 off of your next car purchase?". Fat fucking chance that they're ever going to have to apply that discount. I've already said that I'm never buying a GM product again (and I'll be surprised if anybody in my family ever does either), but now I'm at the "actively loathing" stage of my hatred. I would much rather brand myself with an iron than ever drive one of their overpriced disposable piles of shit ever again.
With "customer service" like this, it's no wonder that they're failing. I actually am giddy at the prospect of GM declaring bankruptcy and/or getting bought out/up. Maybe they'll merge with Ford and form a mega-corporation of suck so vast and dense that the very fabric of reality is warped. Good riddance. The next vehicle I buy will probably be a Toyota.
And as long as I'm posting. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
There's a hole in my ceiling
About a week or so back, I finally broke down. The combination of my beloved 'Riders having their best season since before I was born, and my getting tired of only being able to watch movies on my television made me decide to get satellite service.
"Great!" Says the company. "We'll be over on the afternoon of the 11th to set it up. You have a working phone line we can plug it into?"
"Sure." Says I, not exactly recalling if there is one behind the television, but there's phone jacks all over the place so there's assuredly one in that wall.
Turns out, I don't have one, so I phoned AT&T and had them over yesterday to install a new one. I learned two things through that experience:
1.) Be careful when you're crawling through the attic that you don't step between the studs.
2.) The guy that originally wired my house is barely competent .
So, as I said, I now have a hole in the ceiling of my mud room. It could have been worse. If I'd stepped down about a foot further it would have been in my bathroom.
I guess I just can't have nice things.
Also, just to prove that not everything that lives in my back yard is poisonous, creepy, or downright disturbing, here's a pic I snapped of one guy hoofing it towards the trees.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Le Sigh
My leg's been bothering me for the last month, and I finally went to see the doctor about it. It is, as my friends and family suggested, my sciatic nerve. True to form, he suggested prescription medication immediately. Specifically Ibuprofen (in fairness, he did allow me the option of just using the off-the-shelf variety and upping the dosage) and steroids.
This is not to condemn the pharmacological world. Far from it. I believe that there are plenty of good reasons for prescribing medication. This is, however, the second time that I've gone to this doctor and had him wanting to prescribe medication for me. The first time I went in to look at my foot. When he checked my weight and blood pressure he immediately started talking about blood pressure medication. When he inquired about my sleeping habits and I told him that I wasn't sleeping well he wanted to book me into a sleep clinic/study, and when he felt my heartbeat and found a "minor irregularity" (or something like that) he wanted to book me for an MRI. I just looked at him and asked if he wasn't supposed to prescribe diet and exercise first.
In any event, the downside of this latest trip is that my BP is still too high (150/104) and he, somewhat justifiably, wants me to start taking medication. Fair enough. I'm not happy about it, but I'll do it. He also wanted me to lose more weight. This is also a fair request, and something I've been working on*. I do find it laughable that he wants me down to below 200 lb. I haven't been that light since junior high when I was actually active.
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*This is to say that I don't add salt to most of my food, avoid fast food whenever possible, and generally try to not eat as much, but don't go so far as to actually "diet".
Friday, August 17, 2007
The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men
A cunning person could have lied their way out of it - stalled him for a couple of weeks so that he could make his decision after his birthday. I am not a cunning person. At the very least I'm a terrible liar. So the surprise is now ruined. Congratulations Malcolm. I hope you're happy.
In completely unrelated news, I'm going to be in Calgary from the 23rd til Sept. 2nd. Come hang out with me! I'll probably be drunk, but in case I'm not you should bring alcohol. Seriously. I need drink bad. The last few months of work have had my stress level ramping up steadily to the point where I seem to be existing in one of three states: Work, sleep, or zombie**.
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*Again I have discovered that I am completely illiterate when it comes to reading flight schedules. I thought I was landing just before noon on the 22nd. Turns out I'm landing just before midnight.
**I'm still a little squeamish about the brains, though.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Fuck Entergy*
Again.
I'm sick of their crap. I got a lovely message left for me at home on the ninth stating that if I didn't call them that day to have my meter put in my name (something that they've said several times before that they had done) that they'd shut off my power. I phoned them - on the ninth - and talked to a very nice (and obviously incompetent) woman who said that the had straightened out the problem and that my power now would not be shut off.
Then I come home to this bullshit.
The lady I talked to put me on hold for a half hour, and swears that the problem is fixed for real this time. I'm sorely tempted to booby-trap my meter box some way. In any event, if this happens one more time, I think I'll engage in that wonderful American pastime of the lawsuit.
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*WARNING! This post contains somewhat stronger language than usual.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Eight Legged Freaks.
I still haven't stopped shuddering at the thought of that thing. I think I'm going to have to nuke my house from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Aargh
I'm not stupid... I'm advanced!

Oi vey. I'm having flashbacks to skool. For the last several weeks I've been trying to learn about cement (specifically, wellbore cementing). Fun stuff.
No, really, it's actually interesting. The problem arises from me having no relevant background with the stuff, and combining the learning process with the ongoing QC. It's starting to all merge into one massive mental ball of... stuff that I'm having difficulty wrapping my head around.
On the plus side, if I ever feel like pouring an extension to my patio, I'm fairly sure I can get a good deal on the supplies...
The heat comes and goes down here. And this weekend it came. I originally planned to use the weekend to get a bunch of work done around the house. Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men. Saturday started off good. I managed to trim back the jungle in my yard and unloaded nearly a ton of rock so that I could set up a garden section in my yard to transplant my herbs into. Sunday was supposed to be about cleaning the house (I swear things get dirtier quicker down here than in Calgary), and installing a few organizing racks in the garage, but I woke up with a splitting headache that never really went away. When combined with the heat I ended up saying "screw it" and loafed around for the day feeling miserable. Good times. All praise the inventor of central air conditioning.
I also suspect that I have raccoons hanging around my place now. I can't be positive, but I don't know of any other animal that would actually try to steal my birdfeeder. I came out one morning to find it gone and the pole it was mounted on bent over. After much searching, I found the thing wedged underneath my back fence.
Oh! New bug alert! I haven't seen one of these since elementary school.
No, the ash-can isn't mine. Neither is the bug. It was found up by our warehouse. I was tempted to take it home as a pet.
And in case Amy hasn't been notified of this article already: The Ultimate Knitter
Monday, July 09, 2007
Wokking in Memphis
The last few weeks have been busy, to say the least. We're starting up a new service line down here, and meeting the technical requirements have been rather trying. I've been bouncing back and forth between the two lines trying to learn how to run the new equipment while at the same time trying to keep up with issues on the frac side.
We've also had a fair number of people come down from Calgary to train us on said new equipment. It's been good to see some old familiar faces. The flip side of that, though, is that I've been eating out more than usual. This is not entirely a bad thing, as it's allowed me to find a couple of new restaurants and at least one really good pub* out and about.
After living down here for six months I finally got around to seeing Memphis. At a mere two hours away I probably should have gone sooner (say, for Memphis in May) but c'est la vie. Myself and a compatriot from the Calgary office crossed the Mighty Mississippi into the town. We visited the National Civil Rights Museum**, the Rock and Soul museum, wandered Beale Street and in general gorged ourselves on the food there***. Good times.
No. Graceland was not visited. Maybe next time.
The weather down here has actually been relatively mild. According to the locals we should be pushing 100 F daily with no rain. Instead for the most part it's been overcast, raining nearly every evening or night (we went through a week where we had hour long downpours start at 5 pm on the nose), and only about as hot as Calgary gets on its hottest days - if that. That might have started to finally change if yesterday was any indication.
And I made another ridiculous purchase. Behold!
So now it's poll time, ladies! Do you think my tractor's sexy? I just need one of you to say yes so I can hum "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" while I mow my lawn.
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*75 different beers on tap = much fun.
**I was quite pleased that neither myself nor my compatriot - both burly white men with extremely short hair (me) and completely shaved head (him) did not get even one strange look going through there. In all seriousness, though, if you're ever in Memphis go see it. It's definitely worth it.
***In the unlikely even that I ever open my own restaurant I'm hiring a baker. Free fresh buns will be provided to all diners.
****Seriously. Parts of it haven't been mowed in two months or more and some of the weeds growing in it are taller than me and about an inch in diameter. I figured I'd need a machete and a British accent to cut my way through it.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Happy Canada Day
Hope everybody had a good Canada Day/day off in lieu. I myself took the opportunity to take up the game of whackf##k*. Definitely an enjoyable experience and one that I'm going to endeavor to continue with. It was actually very good weather for it. We had to drive through a rainstorm to get to the course, and it threatened to rain all morning but never did. It just stayed overcast and a pretty reasonable temperature - if still somewhat humid. It's good to finally have another hobby that actually requires physical exertion. I went to a doctor a couple of weeks back and wash shocked - SHOCKED I tell you - to find out how bad a shape I'm in.Anyhoo, after said game I had a barbecue for some ex-pats down here helping us set up our latest operation. I've discovered that I really enjoy cooking over charcoal. It's something that I never did in Calgary - we always used propane - but I find it quite funl. Pizza and flatbeds were a blast. The smoked ribs I cooked for Canada Day turned out great - especially for a first attempt. I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the summer I'm trying to bake cookies on it.
And I ended off the evening with fireworks. Hopefully the neighbors weren't too confused by them going off a few days before the fourth of July. I knew that fireworks were legal and a lot more available down here, but I was surprised by the sheer quantity. It seems like every mile there's another carnival tent stocked selling "Crazy Larry's Black Market Fireworks" or such. I guess that it's a good thing it is so damp down here. If it was drier one spark would cause a lovely chain reaction of ammo dumps.
My house and yard slowly continue to come together. I decided a while back to hire landscapers to finish my lawn. It doesn't need much - just to be leveled, have all the weeds killed, have a bunch of trees planted and then be seeded or sodded - but it's a large enough job, and it's hot enough here that I figured it would be better to get it done right the first time. Besides, the ground is hard enough around here that I'm going to definitely need some heavy equipment if I want to get it done before next year. I can't dig down more than a couple of inches with a spade.
So all in all, life ain't going too terribly bad down here. I seem to have pulled myself out of the malaise that has been affecting me for the last few months - whether this unnatural cheerfulness will actually continue I don't know, so I'm going to milk it for all it's worth now.
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*Those who are actually good at the game more commonly refer to it as "Golf".
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Going Buggy
I hear them in the distance. Always buzzing. Always taunting. So smug.
They stay just out of range. Daring me to swat them before flying off. Even if I kill one, two more take its place. They circle my head at night, keeping me awake. They don't just seek to defeat me. They intend to drive me insane. But I won't let them. I'm too strong for that. I'll find a way.
What's that, mother?
Burn the house, you say?
Yes. That will stop them.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Uninvited Guests
With a little prodding, I was able to get the little buggers ID.
I initially left him/her/it alone but then realized that it probably wasn't a good idea leaving a poisonous spider on my doorstep, and gave it the boot.
It's funny, but it's little things like that that really make me realize that I'm not in Kansas (or Canada) anymore. The heat, the humidity? Annoying, but they don't really stand out, for some reason (I notice them, of course. They just don't scream to me: "Hey! You're in Arkansas!") Ditto for the accents. The wildlife, however, is another matter. The other night I also found this lovely specimen in my backyard.
The strange part is that I was more disturbed by the katydid than the black widow. Bugs of all type (spiders especially) creep me out, but I was all "Kewl! A black widow in MY house!"
Also saw a flock of vultures on the side of the road, something else that I'd never seen live before. Huge birds. Honestly though, I don't know how armadillos aren't an endangered species yet. You can practically measure you driving distance by counting the dead ones on the road.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Leaving Las Vegas (And Getting There, And Staying There)
Body: “Wanna sleep.”
Brain: “Shut up. We’re not going to miss the flight because you oversleep.”
Body: “But I’m really tired. Just a few minutes please?”
Brain:
I managed to drag my butt to the airport and make it to Vegas (via
Finally, my buds arrived. Siochain knocked me off my feet with a big hug, which is only fair since I do the same so often. We grabbed something to eat and then headed back to the hotel where I discovered that my blisters had blisters. I crashed immediately, and managed to keep them awake all night with my snoring.
We then, much to the protest of my feet, began exploring. Just up and down the strip. Siochain got her picture taken with the surliest Elvis impersonator ever. We hit the shops in Planet Hollywood and the Venetian, where M picked up a very stylin’ hat. I also discovered that somewhere along the way Siochain apparently became part lizard. Seriously, the girl was freezing in the air conditioned casinos and it took here about 10 minutes in the sun to warm up. That’s just not right.
I loved the paint scheme inside the Miracle Mile at PH. If you haven’t seen, they’ve done the ceiling up like the sky, which doesn’t sound too impressive until you’ve actually seen it with the lighting and realized how realistic it looks. It’s also rather confusing when you spend a couple hours in there, thinking that it’s around sunset and then walk outside and find that it’s still noon.
I imagine that to most people, going to Vegas and not gambling or seeing a lot of shows or exhibits seems nearly heretical. For me, though, I really couldn’t care about most of that (There’s a few shows that I want to see there, but that’s about it). I’m just happy that I was able to hang out with my friends and not have to worry about being at X place at time Y.
The water show at the Bellagio is pretty impressive. I’ve seen it in videos but they really don’t do it justice. The scope of it is pretty massive. I also find it very humorous that, in a city in the middle of the desert that so many of the casinos have massive water shows.
Unbeknownst to Siochain, her beloved
Day 3
Hit the Bodies exhibit at the Tropicana. Not exactly my cup of tea, being as squeamish as I am, but still fascinating from a medical perspective. M & Siochain really liked it though, which is the important part. If I haven’t mentioned it already, I really couldn’t give a crap where I was, as long as I was with my friends.
Did some more wandering. The nerve endings on my feet were pretty much fried by that point, so my feet weren’t doing to bad. Fortunately, the rest of my legs were burning by then so I didn’t get too comfortable.
The highlight of the day was definitely O. It was the first and so far only Cirque de Soleil show that I’ve seen, and was a hell of an introduction. I’ve seen clips of Cirque here and there but, like the water show at the Bellagio, the videos don’t do Cirque justice. Of course, the Bellagio show doesn’t even come close to comparing to O. Seriously, go see it and for the love of god spend the extra money and get good tickets – something in the first few rows. I would quite happily go back down to Vegas just to see the show again. Each act in it blew me away more than the last one and left me thinking “there’s no way that they’ll be able to top that”. Of course, they did manage to top it. I find it amusing to note that there were parts of the show that could be considered boring due to the fact that they were merely incredible, as opposed to mind-bogglingly stunning like the rest of the show. It’s not unlike what M was saying while leaving the show – It made Vegas seem mundane by comparison. Watching O was actually an emotional experience. If you see it and aren’t moved, I declare that you are not human.
Day 4
The last day was a pretty big blur. We basically just fit a few last minute things into the trip – nothing special – and then went to the airport. Saying goodbye this time, though, was infinitely harder than a few months ago. I think that the last time I left I was too distracted by work and my impending house purchase to really appreciate how much I missed these two. I’ve known them for twenty years now and they’re more than family to me, they are a part of me. Fortunately, I guess, I was giving a temporary reprieve from my depression while I discovered that my place was going to be an hour and a half late, forcing me to miss my connection in
And that’s pretty much it. I had a blast with my friends, but I’ve got to be the only person on the planet that can go to Vegas, not lose loads of cash, and still manage to be depressed when I leave.
I miss 'em already.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
My Feet Hurt... With Destiny!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Viva Las Vegas!
There's nothing quite like a 16 hour work day to prep you for a vacation.Of course, there's also nothing quite like learning how to read, which would have saved me from finding out last night that my plane tickets land me in Vegas at 9:52 a.m., and my friends land at 9:00 p.m.
Well, I guess I have to keep myself entertained for 11 hours. I hope I can find something to do.
Friday, May 25, 2007
The Train Keeps A Rollin'
I've finally got blinds for my house. This is good because a.) Nobody needs to see my pasty-white fat ass, (not that I make a habit of wandering around my place nekkid); b.) There are a fair number of children in the neighborhood and I really don't fancy being thrown in jail for accidentally exposing myself to kids (again, not planning on wandering around naked); and c.) I like sleep. I really like it. I don't like waking up on my days off as the sun begins to peek over the horizon. I'm really looking forward to being able to sleep in tomorrow. Of course I'm now able to indulge in my habit of waking up at the crack of noon, which is not a good thing either.
In addition to looking for a few other major appliances, now that I can afford them, I'm also trying to find a landscaping company down here. I dont' really want much done to my yard - just lay some grass down and plant a dozen or so fruit trees. The problem is that the yard, as it stands, is currently a pretty good disaster. The non-sodded area (probably around a half-acre) doesn't have much for topsoil. We're right down to the red clay already, and while stuff seems to grow pretty well in it (the weeds love it, at least), I'm guessing that it's going to need to be turned and loamed before I can actually get it properly seeded. I tried digging into it on the weekend, and that's pretty much a no-go as well. Thus, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll have to hire contractors to do all the work in the hot sun while I sit in the shade sipping fruity alcoholic drinks. Maybe my guild complex will kick in, but I think I can kick it out easily enough.
I've also discovered that I might have an addiction. When I first planned on moving down here, my dad, a relatively avid amateur birder, was thrilled at the prospect of all the different birds down here (he's still hoping that I'll take a trip into southern Arkansas and find an Ivory-billed Woodpecker). I pretty much shrugged off the possibilities. I don't mind birds, but for the most part I find them pretty forgettable - pigeons, magpies, gulls, etc. In any event, since the first time I saw my house when it was still under construction, I've seen a few colorful birds in the backyard. The blue jays were nice, and seemed slightly brighter than the ones I've seen in Calgary and Red Deer, but it was the Cardinals that really made me go "Oooh! Nifty!". About a week or so after I moved in, I bought a feeder and some black sunflower seed which, according to the bag, is supposed to attract nearly every type of bird around these parts. Sure enough, more jays and cardinals showed up. And a few Mourning Doves, and some sort of yellow finch thingy showed up once.
So I decided to expand. I bought more feeders - a finch feeder with nyjer seed and a hummingbird feeder. The finch feeder seems pretty devoid of customers, but the hummingbird feeder attracted a couple in less then a day. Then I bought a bird bath. I also bought a bird guide, but haven't had much luck identifying most things. The birds don't tend to stay still long enough, not that this really bothers me. I'm just worried that I won't stop - or worse, I'll expand. First the feeders and bird bath. Then bird houses. Before you know it, I'll have descended into madness and purchased the dreaded lawn gnomes.
I've also had a bit of fun with cooking down here. Not the style itself (although I enjoy the act of cooking and am really looking forward to getting a barbecue) but the ingredients themselves. In addition the the fresh fruit that I'm enjoying gorging myself on, I'm having fun with new and interesting things. I cooked with okra for the first time the other day. It was, suffice to say, an interesting experience. I had no idea how slimy that stuff got when when chopped up, even before it was cooked. I'm also having fun with collard greens. No idea what will be coming up in the future. With the weather as hot as it is down here (is everyone in Calgary enjoying the snow that they got yesterday?) cooking is less enjoyable. Raw fruits and vegetables are much more my speed at this temperature.
But for now, I get to relax. I've got a long weekend and a vacation coming up, and even get to enjoy them for the most part for a change. Block party tonight. My company's having its Grand Opening tomorrow, Sunday off, Memorial day Monday off (a holiday off in the field? Inconceivable!). Work Tuesday (if I'd realized that it was a long weekend I'd have booked it off as well), then it's off to Vegas on Wednesday for 4 fun filled days that I plan to not be able to remember. I'm meeting up there with Big Daddy M and Siochain - my brother from another mother and my sister from another mister so to speak, both of whom need to remember that no matter how old they feel, they're still younger and better looking (and saner) than me. They both also need to eat a sammich or two.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I'm Rich!
But for now. I think I'll celebrate. Who's up for root beer?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
This Is No Longer Funny.

They turned off the power to my house.
Again.
To say that I'm unhappy is a slight understatement. Apparently they were trying to shut off the power to house 111. There's only one problem - house 111 doesn't exist. I'm in 113, next to me is 107.
Fortunately for the power company, they have hired creative people. If they can't shut off the power to 111, I guess the nearest house will do.
Idjits.
Monday, May 07, 2007
I Love A Rainy Night

I'm right now enjoying the hardest rainstorm that I've ever seen. I don't think that I've ever seen it rain so hard for so long. The water level in the drainage ditch in our yard (my company's) has risen about 4 feet in the last half hour. It's kewl. The best part is that the weather is still warm. Definitely a nice change from the cold rain in Calgary.
(BTW, the pic is not from here, but is still a relatively accurate depiction).
Weekend was decently enjoyable. We've been having weather in the high 70's - low 80's (that's mid to high 20's in real temperature). I discovered both a farmer's market and the asian food market (I doubt that there's more than one), so life is somewhat more tolerable now. Spent the weekend happily cooking away and doing a little more unpacking. And discovering the sheer joy that is the mojito. Seriously. I think I'm through with Gin & Tonic as my summertime drink.
On the money front, I'm still lacking in funds. Apparently one of the checks that I wrote to myself was sufficiently large enough to warrant further scrutiny. Surprisingly, the hastily scrawled signature on my cheque did not match the one in my account when I opened it about 20 years ago (and was likely told to sign neatly and clearly). I've therefore taken the drastic step of asking my folks for help. I'm sending them some cheques to cash and then they can send me a US money order for the proper amount. I have a good feeling about this. It could work.
That just leaves me with the problem of the other, slightly smaller cheque that I wrote to myself. The money for it disappeared from my Canadian bank account 2-3 weeks ago but has yet to appear down here. My bank here is saying the 15th of May. I'm saying that if it's not there by then I'll look at suing.
It occurs to me now that I might have been able to transfer the funds just as easily through my pay-pal account. Anyone out there that can give me a reason that it wouldn't work?
More as it develops, but for now, I think I'll head home.
