Fuck GM

Some of you may be familiar with my car (a 1999 Pontiac Grand AM) and its many 'quirks'. My personal favorite is the brakes. For those not in the know, my car has a problem where it will quite often have the 'ABS' light come on and the 'Traction Control Off' light come on. This should normally only happen when conditions are extremely slippery. Instead, this happens pretty much any time the car is driven for more than 2 feet.

A fun side-effect of this is the fact that, whenever stopping, the car will release its brakes just before coming to a complete stop and roll ahead about another 10 feet before finally stopping.

I have taken the car to GM to repair this. Several times. To two separate garages. Neither garage claimed to be able to find anything wrong. The problem would disappear for about a month after coming back from the shop before rearing its ugly head again.

When I moved I decided to give the car to my parents. What they can get from selling it, they can keep. My dad, not believing in Caveat Emptor nearly as strongly as I do (or perhaps wanting to maximize the selling price of my p.o.s.), took it to a third mechanic - an independent - to get it looked at.

A 10 minute diagnosis found the problem. The bill? $1800. According to the mechanic the problem should have been obvious to anybody with a modicum of training.

To say that this disgusts me is to say that the holocaust wasn't that good an idea. I suppose that it shouldn't surprise me. As long as the car was under warranty, they weren't going to find anything wrong with it if at all possible. From what I understand, originally the problem would have been a relatively cheap fix. Now the entire brake system is going to need to be replaced. I can accept that most companies don't believe in customer service. I'd just like to see them start believing in "don't fuck over your customers". Is that too much to ask? I've still got all the receipts for the car repairs I've asked for over the years, and I know what GM will say when we confront them with it. "Oh, we're sorry you're not completely satisfied. How about $500 off of your next car purchase?". Fat fucking chance that they're ever going to have to apply that discount. I've already said that I'm never buying a GM product again (and I'll be surprised if anybody in my family ever does either), but now I'm at the "actively loathing" stage of my hatred. I would much rather brand myself with an iron than ever drive one of their overpriced disposable piles of shit ever again.

With "customer service" like this, it's no wonder that they're failing. I actually am giddy at the prospect of GM declaring bankruptcy and/or getting bought out/up. Maybe they'll merge with Ford and form a mega-corporation of suck so vast and dense that the very fabric of reality is warped. Good riddance. The next vehicle I buy will probably be a Toyota.

And as long as I'm posting. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day.